Rethinking Relationshipsđź’‘

Do you have a boyfriend?/ Do you have a girlfriend? 

In today’s world of speed dating and speed break-ups, this is probably the most common question any youngster is asked. And why not? We all need someone special, someone whom we can call ours, someone who we can share our life with, someone who is always there for us we know, no matter what. 

With 2017 giving us a chance to start afresh, let me put forth some of my views on this theme. 

Having a boyfriend or girlfriend has become a status symbol. Period. This relationship is flaunted, much like wealth is. As i write this, i’m talking to 5 guys on Whatsapp, one from my college, one living in my society, one living in another state and so on. Of course, guys would be talking to twice the number of girls, all in the hope of a acquaintance>friendship>relationship.. and for some even marriage. Some are freshers in the dating world having dated once or twice while others are the seasoned ones who have mastered women psychology. 

Finally, it all boils down to this. We all have sexual urges, we are wired to procreate. Cmon, let’s face it. Nothing to be shy of. I know of guys dating multiple girls at the same time and if those girls find it out, the guy will be chappaled to death! ^_^

All this for people assumed to be ‘dating material’. Obviously, this excludes nerds, geeks and the like as they are more in love with the concept of textbooks than in love with the concept of love. These poor souls study hard, waiting patiently all the while, to bag a well-paying job and then, to start finding a soulmate. And by that time, they are seeing people fall in love and wonder why someone doesn’t fall for them. So when some guy or girl holds a small lamp to their inner darkness, they are attracted to it like a moth to a flame. This is what happened to Radhika in One Indian Girl. They are ready to do anything and everything for that one person. Sadly, that’s why they are taken advantage of. 

I myself was a nerd till a year back. But one fine day, i realised that when i need help, i need friends to talk to and depend on, knowledge will come to my aid yes, but cmon everyone needs friends. And i was not making friends by being an introvert. Slowly, i started talking to girls as well as guys. With girls, i could get along without much difficulty but i found it hard to talk to guys initially. It was because of the nerd impression i’d made that no guy preferred to talk to me, if given the choice. With time, i learnt to be open-minded, got a makeover externally(read started applying a little makeup, manicuring my nails, improving my fashion sense with tips from girls) and of my thoughts. Slowly, i learnt to fit into the group. 

I was googling “Who is a studious person” today morning. The search gave me a “Why do studious people have few friends?”. It said that there was nothing uncool with being a person who observed things, remembered them and successfully reproduced them on exam sheets. What a perspective! A friend i made recently told me that people judge nerds because they are unlike them, they judge them without knowing. Today, however, i don’t hesitate to say that i’m a nerd and single. I just haven’t found the right person yet. It’s not that i don’t like to go on adventures or don’t enjoy having fun. It’s just that the wild side of me is overshadowed by the desire to dream big and make it big in life. The role of Anay in Befikre portrays this beautifully. A boring banker who knows surfing and can shake his leg to a Bhangda beat. I also learnt to ignore and block guys along my journey. Because you need a partner who complements you, not one who encroaches upon your time when you are busy working on your priorities.

It’s time we rethink what our relationships mean to us. We also need to stop being judgemental. There’s no age for falling in love. What if you just broke up? It’s fine. You have 364 more days, and that’s a lot. What matters is that the person be right for you. Then life will indeed become Heaven on Earth.